Much Ado About Cliches
by Kung-Fu MarioMan
Summary: A breakdown of typical RS fan fiction tropes. Also, an actual story!


Act One: Much Ado About Everything

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**A/N:** To celebrate my one year of being here on this here site, I'm starting a new story that satires other RS fan-fictions. Read and review!

A long time ago, in galaxy far, far, away, there was a planet named Earth. And on this Earth there were two good people: Mordecai and Rigby. They were madly in love with each other... Oh wait, this story's been done? A thousand times? Ok... Mordecai and Rigby were in love with... Eileen and CJ! Yes! The perfect setup! But I'll concentrate on the Morby plot.

They were madly in love with each other, and never wanted to let go. They were 23 years old, the both of them, and it was around the time Mickey Rooney died (2014) that ''the incident'', as many people called it, happened.

Rigby was out with his many girlfriends. Ilene (Eileen's new name due to numerous misspellings), Margaret, CJ, and Audrey. The raccoon, though he seemed to be very whiny and very weak, was actually a multi-billionaire. His fortunes were inherited from his dad, who died in an automobile accident. Getting back to the pointiest of all points, Rigby was cheating out Mordecai of money, condoms, and their relationship. But he didn't know it... yet.

Riggs and his women were at the movies. It was some stupid drama that won every single award at the Oscars the next year. The girls enjoyed it. Rigby... not so much. He left in the middle of the film and went home.

Ilene noticed this and went after him. And then the others, one by one, went away to see what was going on. Twenty minutes later, the last girl walked out of the movie to Mordo and Riggs' house.

When Audrey found the hovel, she heard noises. Noises of... screaming. Noises of hitting. Noises of the TV in the living room, playing ''Kung Pow: Enter the Fist''. She decided to stay outside for safety.

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''YOU SON OF A BITCH!'' yelled Mordecai in angst as he punched Rigby in the face. ''WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER 'TIL DEATH DO US PART, YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAID SIXTEEN YEARS AGO? WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED IN TWO MONTHS!''

''B-B-B-B-B-but, I-I-I-I-I-I-'' Rigby was punched in the mouth by Ilene.

''HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR MORDECAI ANYWHERE!'' Ilene started to tear up. ''I've... lost all respect for you...'' Ilene burst into tears and ran outside were Audrey was waiting.

''Hey Ilene.'' said Audrey. ''What the hell happened?''

Ilene said: ''Well, uhh... Remember when we were at the movies and Rigby left? After he left, I followed him home. He talked to Mordecai about how he hated the movie. Then when Mordecai found out he had been going out with girls behind his back, they starting beating up each other. I had enough and told them to stop. I said 'I wanted to talk to Rigby.'' But the other one wouldn't me. So...'' The mole dried her eyes. ''We got into another argument. Then Margaret and CJ came, and they were mad as hell at Rigby. It was _chaos_ in there!''

Audrey comforted her. ''You wanna stay here? Where it's safe?''

''No. I gotta teach Rigby the lesson he needs.'' Ilene walked into the house again.

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A few minutes later...

''THIS IS FOR TELLING ME MARGARET WASN'T WORTH IT, AND FOR CHEATING ON ME! DIE!'' Mordecai tore out Rigby's golden tongue and beat him senseless.

''THIS IS FOR NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO THE MOVIE WE SAW!'' Ilene ripped Rigby's nose off.

CJ was raising hell on the house in her hurricane form. ''THIS IS FOR MAKING ME ANGRY!'' She struck Rigby with a lightning bolt and left him almost dead.

''THIS IS FOR NOT TELLING ME YOU'RE THE RICHEST MAN THERE EVER WAS!'' Margaret quickly ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed Rigby in the stomach.

A nearby neighbor entered the house and shot at everyone inside. ''THIS IS FOR DISTURBING ME IN MY SLEEP, MOTHERF**KERS!'' He left as Audrey started crying. She was devastated that the night out had to end like this, and also because it scared her half to death. The human ran away... to a nearby payphone to call the police.

Five minutes later, they showed up and broke in. Everybody was laying on the floor, knocked out by the bullets. Rigby was dead... Or was he?

The billionaire Rigby was actually a ROBOT. Yes, the raccoon was a cleverly-disguised electronic animal controlled by a state-of-the-art computer chip. Now this story won't get into the M-rated section. The computer chip was hidden in Rigby's leg... and it hadn't been damaged in any way. That's some screwy logic. In fact, _screw_ logic. What's the deal with it? Who invented logic anyway?

The police took away all the bodies for evidence, while some detectives (dicky dicks) were dispatched to look inside for further evidence.

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This part would've been a cliffhanger but this chapter would be too short, but decisions rule over everything... so... yeah.

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To be continued...


End file.
